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Awhile back Betty contacted me to relate that her whole family, including herself, sucks their thumb. Here they are, watching TV. Note Mothy's use of a rubber band and, if you'll observe carefully, Katelynn's use of a piece of "fuzz" to rub her nose with. Betty has another child. Not shown in this photo is Betty's other child, Andrew. Yup, you guessed it, he's a thumb sucker too! Here's what Betty has to say about the whole situation.
At first i worried a lot that, being a parent of children who suck their thumbs as i do, they would be teased. I guess the world is changing and kids are not as cruel as every one says. I blamed myself for them doing it (a lot) because my mom and ex-husband say they do it cuz they watched me do it. I had wondered if I was being a good parent for not trying to stop them or make them quit (but how, if I can't quit). I truly believe that, with all that my parents did to get me to quit, they hurt more then helped. As such, I can not bring myself to do it to them (ok so I am a push over but I feel that my kids need this comfort and security what with the split of their father and I). I do need to say I wish my children didn't suck their thumbs but, then, what parent really does?
I am so proud of them and I must be doing something right because I they have so much confidence than I did at any of their ages (11 , 7 , 5). I feel that that is because they know I suck my thumb and see I that I do the same thing for the same reasons. I think it has a lot to do with the fact they talk to me as much as they do .
You asked if my children mention my tsing to their friends. Yes they mention it to their friends all the time. At first I was a little nervous. I think I was more worried for my child but now I just laugh about it. It all started when a friend of one of my children saw them doing it. Of course there was a little chuckle in the voice as the friend asked, "you still suck your thumb?" my kid answers, "So what is the big deal? It is what I do sometimes." Then the friend asks why and my kid answers, "cuz I like to". Then the friend comes to me and says, "Do you know your kid still sucks his thumb?" Either my child has already told them I do too or I just say "I do too and I am sure you have things that you do that you hide cuz you are afraid that some one would not understand, right? Well you do not have to worry with Matthew , Katelynn , or Andrew and you, being their friend, should not treat them any different than before you knew as they are still the same person you like to hang out with." There has been 5 of their friends that went right back to watching tv or to what ever it was and put their thumb in their mouth too.
I have never had a problem with any of the parents about me sucking my thumb around their kids but what I do hear from the parents is that they like their kids playing at my house and that they knew they were safe and how nice it is to know that I look out for their kids like they were my own.
The difference between my ex husband and new boyfriend my ex husband didn't say much about my tsing when we were first married. I hid it from him for a long time (I was 16 and had not met Rachel my most dearest friend who help me come out of the closet so to speak with my tsing). He was in the military so he'd be gone from 4 am - 7 pm or he for 2 - 3 weeks at a time. I would lay with my back to him and pull the covers up to my nose doing my thing. I think we had been married for 2 years when I was caught. He chuckled and then gave me a look like to say you are such a weirdo but that is all. He did not say nothing about the kids when they started to do it until just before the end of our marriage. At that time he would say Matthew (11) you getting to the age that you should quit and Katelynn (7) you cannot go to school and suck your thumb. The kids will make fun of you plus you are too pretty of a girl to have your thumb in your face. He would say these things maybe 3 times in the last year we were together.
Now my ex husband has a new girlfriend and she hates the fact the kids ts. The two of them have tried putting socks on their hands at night, painting that nasty stuff on their whole hand. When he drops them after his weekend visit he tells me all the work they are doing and asks if I would mind if I would continue with trying to get the kids to quit. (This is where I get to brag) Craig (my boyfriend) heard all this and came the door and told Niles (my ex husband) that we do not want to change the kids, we love them as they are and that if he is so worried about having to pay for braces alone he shouldn't cuz between the 2 dental insurance plans and 3 people to pick up the difference it really would not be that much .
Now to talk about Craig my boyfriend. We have lived together for a year. The first night we were watching tv after the kids went to bed. I was laying against his chest. He asked me if I was cold cuz he thought I was shivering. I shook my head and he looked down. It took a while but I looked up at him and he had the sweetest smile and said, "I wish you could see just how damn cute you are". I smiled (through the thumb).
He likes to watch me doing it. He even lets me play with his ears and, at night, makes sure he is close enough so I can suck my thumb and rub his ear with my nose. He has even shared the experience with me on a few occasions. He will sit or lay next to me and, while I suck my favorite thumb, he will suck on the other. One day I grabbed his thumb and started to suck on it. He liked that a lot cuz, since, he offers it to me and, if I say no, he says "please" and even rubs my nose the way I like (it is as if he sucked his thumb his hole life) and he is just as great!
He has a son too, the same age as my oldest (Tommy just turned 12) and neither my boyfriend or his son tease my kids or would they let any one else. Betty
Here is a clear shot of my face. I know it doesn't have me sucking my thumb but, hey, it is a clear shot of my face. I feel good about sharing my thumb sucking as I know I'll learn to be comfortable with me and what I do (and I felt so much better knowing I was not the only soul in the world that did it). I also like that I may help some one else feel a little more comfortable about themselves and what they do. Well, hey, I am doing something to make this world easier to live in. That is what I was taught and what I am teaching my kids.
The only child that asked any questions about me sucking my thumb was my daughter (of course she had her thumb in her mouth as she asked). She asked me why I did it and I asked her the same question. She replied, "it makes me feel good." I then said that it's the same reason I did it .
They [the children] did have the funniest looks on their faces when they first started to suck their thumbs and, even though they started at different ages, it was the same look, of confusion and delight. It was as if they were thinking, "what took me so long to learn this? It's about time I learned this!"
I have not told you their names ok here are their names and the ages they started to suck their thumbs : Matthew (my oldest boy) started at 2 , katelynn (of course my daughter) started at 1 or sooner , Andrew (the baby) was 3 1/2 or 4 (he would not let go of the binky) and the two older kids rub their noses with rubber bands (katelynn has fuzz with her rubber band most of the time but she is never with out fuzz) and Andrew rubs his nose while he plays with someone's hair or holds something silky (for a while there he carried one of my moms old nightgowns everywhere he went).
I wanted to also tell you about when my boyfriend, who I live with now, first saw me sucking my thumb. We were watching tv late one night (I had just moved in). The kids were asleep and I was relaxing. I was doing my thing when I noticed he was watching me. I realized what I was doing and snapped at him, "So what, I suck my thumb!" He just smiled, kissed me on my head and said, "I wish you could see just how damn cute you are sitting there like that. No wonder I love you." He is a great guy and his son is great about the whole thing too. He has never teased the kids about doing what they do. I just think it is funny I have been with this man and his son almost 1 year and they are so ok with who we are and what we do but my mom and dad and the kids' dad make such an issue of it (yell, put stuff on our thumbs, talk down about what we do).
Betty Southern California Female age 28 All my life Right thumb.My teeth are mildly bucked forward. I usually have red marks my thumb or finger My thumb (finger) nail looks worn or has marks it. My sucked thumb or finger looks different. I have a groove that runs from the top of my nail to the bottom and because I have my tounged pierced I have a dimple just undre the nail bed In bed, as I go to sleep.All through the night while asleep, I awake with my thumb/finger in my mouth. While watching TV. When I read. When I'm with my friends. When I'm with my immediate family. ly when I'm alone. at the bottom of the servay italk about my best friend rachel and she taught me that if they dont like you cuz you suck your thumb then they are shallow and not worth any of your time and she is right 8 to 10 hours each day parents reactions Scolding Spanking Teased you. Grounded you.Painted my thumb/finger with bitter solution. Told people I sucked my thumb/finger. No, I wasn't abused. It's just a habit I can't quit.Comfort, it feels good. Security. It's an addiction finger over your nose Yes. I like to rub my nose with my fingure and or my ear or some one elses if I am in bed with my boyfriend I like to rub his ear with my nose. I wasn't breast fed. I used a pacifier. I am a smoker. my dad drinks Yes, I have known other adults who suck their thumb/finger. it was my best friend rachel and we were both 20 one month away from 21 well I exlpain it in the next question I was discovered by a friend when I was 20 and I learned that she also did the same and she was the same age and now that I think back I think that helped me come out of the closet so to speak and you know I have a better class of friends as the like me the real me and it is great College Just Right Overweight White 1 of 2 Heterosexual I am currently divorced. No ,tsing wasnt a reason for divorce. No, thumb/finger sucking doesn't make it difficult to have a relationship. I saw it in yahoo mag.