Lots of e-mails and Bulletin Board postings. I've gathered a bunch more for your
perusal. Hope you enjoy them.
From Christa
I can't believe that, not only is there another woman out there who shares my name (I've only met one other Christa with a "ch" in my life), but we are both adult thumbsuckers. (I'm the Christa who moderates SOL. Maybe I should start posting in here as "Julian's Mom"...LOL!)
I, too, was gently urged, violently coerced and "tricked" into not sucking my thumb after I turned 5. Those methods only made me feel more shame than I should have. I would indulge in thumbsucking in secret, instead. To this day, I still suck that stubby digit in my sleep. I wonder if, had I been left to my own devices, I would've given it up all together? I wouldn't make a big deal out of it...it only makes it a source of shame and something to be hidden. These are not feelings I want my children to grow up having.
I always thought I was the only person in the world who still sucked a thumb or fingers. I've been sucking my index and middle finger since I was a baby. I'm 26 now. I've been successful so far in hiding my habit from my husband, we've been married for 7 years now. I have tried to quit but I just can't seem to and I'm always afraid that he's going to discover me one day or night doing it. I'd be so embarrassed I would want to die I think. I cannot believe all the stories of people who suck their thumbs in public much less be open about it with people! Seems like everyone is pretty happy with their habit on here, is there anyone who is ashamed of this like I am?
Melodie
My wife of 14 years just had braces put on her teeth after dentist told her that she would be wearing dentures in 5-10 years if she didn't. I never thought her teeth were actually that crooked but it turns our she has on open bite and a cross bite which is causing here to grind down her molars and damage the roots of the teeth. When I asked the dentist what caused this, he said it was a tongue thrust problem which was probably caused by thumbsucking. He said the roof of her mouth is elevated from thumbsucking and has caused her upper teeth to be more narrow than her bottoms. When I asked her about this, she said she sucked her thumb until the day we were married and then tried to stop. She said that when she was alone, she would resort to thumbsucking again. I told her I thought it was kind of exciting and a bit of a turn on.
When she arrived home from the orthodontist that Friday afternoon, I had no idea what I was in store for. She walked into the bedroom and said, "are you ready for this?". She gave me a big open smile which startled me. I had never seen that much metal on a persons teeth before. She had braces on her upper and lower teeth with elastics going from her upper and lower jaw. She removed the elastics and opened her mouth to show me a metal bridge going from one side of her upper jaw to the other. She called it a "pallete expander". It had a screw adjustment for making her upper teeth wider. I was really turned on at this time. I guess I have a fetish for braces that I never realized. I asked her if she could still suck her thumb. She said yes but the braces on the upper inside teeth made it a bit different. I asked her if she would suck my thumb and she said ok. I could feel the braces as she sucked and it turned me on more than I have been in years.
Currently I enjoy making love to her while she sucks her thumb and displays the braces that she will be wearing for about 2-3 years. I am kind of hoping that her thumbsucking will cause her to wear the braces longer or eventually have to wear them again in the future.
Date: Mon, 10 Apr 2000 12:27:26
From: Angie at golden_haired_child @ yahoo.com
Subject: weirder than HECK!!!!!!! [Or, it's more common than you'd think.]
Hello guys.. I have a GREAT story to tell you.
I was talking to my best friend, Dani, of MANY years. I have talked to her about my friends from the site. For instance, I have one making me a blanket and I was talking to her about this. I was tired of saying.." my site, I go to a lot" I have asked her to come to my wedding next year. The nite before my wedding, I want to have a SLUMBER party with her so I confessed about my thumb sucking.
"Dani, I am just going to tell you I have a weird habit, and so do people on my site. You're my best friend, and its not a big deal. Lots of people do this," I said.
She responded by saying, "I didn't know that."
I tell her, "duuhh, Dani that's the point." I confess that one time, when she came over, that was the reason why I never fell asleep. She said that that was really weird and told me I should have told her that then. I said " Why? Your husband does it?" She said, "YEAH" and goes on to confess that she thought he was a FREAK! I laughed and said, "nope, he's a normal as me."
We talked and I told her to tell him about the site! I am telling you there are more of us out here then we know! Love to you all! Anji
From: John
The issue of quitting smoking and TSing is something I'm going through now, and holy crap, I know EXACTLY what you mean about sucking more than ever without the cigs!
I'm particularly prone to smoking when I drive, and I drove about 600 miles this week on a trip, attempting to stay away from the smokes the whole time (and not quite succeeding). My thumb, on the other hand, got a lot of use. It's kind of nice to drive far away from home, because I can suck without the fear of having someone I know pull up next to me in traffic. Kinda more anonymous, I guess. And boy did I ever suck!
Oh well, if it keeps me from smoking, I'll TS until my thumb falls off. Good luck to all of us trying to quit puffing!
From: Stephanie
Other People's Thumbs
After reading Ruth's post where she described when her brother was a child he had injured his thumb so his mom let him suck her's that one time. This made me curious so I asked my husband if I could just put his thumb in my mouth for a minute. OMG!!! It was so funny! I haven't laughed that hard for a while. I don't know why but it just struck me as being hilarious. His thumb was way bigger than mine. Hey if you can find someone to let you suck their thumb try it you might like it or laugh your butt off like me! Tee Hee Hee!
and from the same person:
I have had things happen to mine and I sucked it anyway. Hang nails, cuts and paper cuts are awful. I would also like to add another question to this discussion. Do very many of you wear nail polish? I very rarely do because IT TASTES GROSS! Does anyone else have this problem?
I am cracking up as I read this all. It seems so, I don't know, almost funny that there are many others out there with the same habit as I. I am a confident person and I never let my habit have any negative effect on me. I usually suck my thumb to get to sleep or sometimes while reading, typing on computer at a thinking moment. etc. Somehow just knowing that there are so many others out there has "empowered" me. For instance, when I go to bed at night and am sucking my thumb my husband often says "ake your thumb out of your mouth" and I usually do. Well, guess what? Tonight when he says that I will say "Nope"...Haha!
It is funny that you mentioned photos, I don't have any as I don't make it a practice to thumbsuck when I am getting a portrait taken. However, I went to a small, private school, all the way through highschool. I sucked my thumb anytime I felt like it, which was usually during lessons. I can recall in 9th gradeanother female student trying to "copy" me and the very strict instructor forbid it. However he never said a thing to me because he knew I was "For real. Anyways, in the yearbook there s a photo of me laying my head on the desk with my thumb in my mouth. In retrospect, perhaps the yearbook staff thought it would be an embarrasment to me, but not me. I didn't mind it one bit!
From Lea
Hello all you thumbsuckers out there!! Yesterday I was listening to the Dr. Joy Brown Radio Show and a 36 year old woman called in regarding her thumbsucking habit. I was shocked that someone out there was also a thumbsucker! I was disappointed when Dr. Brown was somewhat demeaning to this woman. Dr Brown could not believe that a grown woman, a mother no less could have such an infantile habit. I came home and found this website, not bad for someone that just got a computer and started on the internet only two days ago!
I have been a thumbsucker all of my life! The orthodontist put in a retainer with four metal spikes, but to no avail. (I read another person's e-mail who had the same experience.) My siblings would often put Tabasco sauce on my thumb when I was asleep...very cruel! I am 34 years old, married and a mother of two. My children do not suck their thumbs. My husband puts up with the thumbsucking but often says "Quit Sucking your thumb". I try not to do it in front of the boys, which isn't a problem because I am usually too busy . I look at it this way: I don't smoke, do drugs or drink. I am a wonderful wife and mother and a very active volunteer in my children's school. I am a Sunday School Teacher and teach sports as well. I am college educated. I am hurting nobody and I enjoy my thumb!! (left).
Email: supa_ted@yahoo.com
From James:
Once again I feel that I wish to say somthing, so here it goes. "Somthing" I've never really thought about my tumbsucking that much except for the last year then I have had differnet thoughts from "I think I should stop" to "I don't really think I care".
I have now decided that I feel I don't really care. When I say this I do care what people think of me, like every one in the world does, but, if you think about it, if a person, male or female, decides they do not like you for the mere fact that when you're tired or bored you/I suck my thumb, then are they the type of person that you want as a friend? Over the last 2 weeks now I have started to see what people do if I started to TS when I want and so far no one has said anything to me, given me any funny looks or anything I hope it continues this way. Love to you all and keep TS James,
icq = 29232768 I'm on from 6pm GMT monday - thursday and from 6pm friday to 12am Monday morning (Might be out or asleep but feel free to leave a msg)
It IS possible to scope the dating scene with your thumb in your mouth. (Well, actually I wouldn't plug up my mouth during the actual scoping. In private, during the cuddling, is better.) In the interest of sharing, I'll tell you how I incorporated my habit into day-to-day reality. ( I am 24 years old and married a college boyfriend six months ago, but this formula worked for all the boyfriends I got at all close to. )
First, suck away in front of Sweetie when you feel comfortable doing it, but don't ever do it just to test their reaction, and don't precede your actions with some long, grave confession. Try to introduce your habit to them in the same way you would any other personal quirk, such as a allergy or phobia. No big deal. If they react as if thumbsucking IS a big deal, don't get defensive. Just try not to do it in front of them. Take your thumb out if they ask you to. Or, if you don't want to take it out, go somewhere where you can be by yourself. Have my men really liked the thumb-sucking part of me? No. But they tolerate it, the same way I tolerate my husband's flipping throught the television channels at 100 miles an hour or his habit of forgetting to use his napkin.
I just found this sight and am so happy to know that I am not the only one. I am 51 years old and have been sucking my thumb for 51 years.....of course. While watching tv, reading, or reading this web sight. No one knows and I would die if anyone did. I feel so ashamed of it. Maybe everyone is doing it and we just don't know about it.
From: Suzy
I’ve been kinda hanging here for a while. I was happy and suprised to find such a place. It’s a great website and much more in depth than I can handle on any given day......I will take the time to explore the newest stuff soon. I tend to the boards on a day-to-day basis and that’s one reason why I stop in here. Different boards have different perspectives and I always come back here because I want to share the pleasure I feel when I have an afternoon alone to suck my fingers and watch tv. It is something that I am increasingly aware that others may have.
Anyhow...I once told a friend about my initial reaction to discovering this site, and the people who contribute: “I believed more in life on other planets than the fact that there are other people who suck their fingers....” Now, I do consider myself somewhat different from thumbsuckers. I have never sucked my thumb and I was sucking my fingers from Day One. My mom gave birth to me under heavy sedation and the first time she saw me (and for my life after that) I have had my fingers in my mouth.
Now, I also learned to talk, play, sing and enjoy without my fingers being in my mouth the entire time....but times of thought, sleep, focused concentration and complete detachment from the real world would came only when I was sucking my fingers and smelling my blessed shirt (used as a blankie).....it’s 80% smell and 20% taste ...100% GOOD.
My folks were mildly discouraging but never to the point of threats or taste-tatics....My grandfather once tried to bribe me with a ‘dollar a day’ for every day I stopped. I never took it and I have often thought of the money I could’ve had......he was never around to judge and he would’ve never been able to pay (maybe I sensed that). I quickly learned to be able to lie in bed with the covers over me, looking quite normal. Through the years the family kind of lost track. They always knew I did it, but I don’t think they realize I still do.
My 33rd birthday invitations had a drawing of a baby with her fingers in her mouth. No one asked, they just thought it was cute and they came to my party. Some boyfriends have known. I’ve told others but I don’t believe they understand the depth. I’m tempted to send this link to several friends.
More thoughts from Suzy:
I often wonder why people equate this habit with 'craziness'. I just always thought I had something other people didn't have, pleasure and peace by sticking my fingers in my mouth. I watch my baby neice and her hands go so naturally into her mouth and she smiles behind them! She's not crazy, she's as natural as they come. Now....people might think she's crazy when she's sucking her fingers in line at the bank or sitting in class but think very little about the idiot puffing on a cigarette, filling their lungs with poison.
I was speaking with a friend who confided in me ages ago that she quit sucking her thumb in third grade. Well, lately she has been so stressed with school and work and family that she has really begun to grind her teeth in her sleep causing all sorts of problems...I told her that it sounded to me like she needed to start sucking her thumb again.....not sure if she'll take my advice but I have no doubt it would help....
More thoughts from Suzy:
I was in the grocery store last night and I saw a young girl with her thumb in her mouth and I really tried to think about how I felt about it.....and I still don’t know. My initial reaction is really to just look away and pretend not to notice....which I think is pretty common. I don’t particularly like to see kids openly doing it...I almost have the desire to swat their hand out of their mouth...not sure why except that I just think it is distracting to someone who is trying to talk to them or connect in some way.
I think it’s funny to see a smile come out from behind the thumb. As much as I love my habit, I was always spoken to about appropriate time and place and never did it in school or out in public. I stopped doing it in front of my family by the time I was 10. I bet my Mom and Dad think I quit ages ago despite the topic resurfacing every now and then. I’m a vocal supporter of my baby niece cramming her fingers in her mouth....I figure it’s a way to find comfort in herself.
So how do I feel when I see a kid in public sucking their thumb? I think it’s as goofy as me sitting at home in front of the TV or computer with my fingers in my mouth. But that’s coming from a place where my habit has little to do with lack of nurturing or insecurity or childhood trauma. The first time my mom saw me after I was born I had my fingers in my mouth...I just believe that when I was in the womb they were in my mouth and it was meant to be that way.....I rarely cried because I could just suck whenever I wanted. I wasn’t breast fed (I think) and I just maintain this even keel because I know that when there is high stress I can just take deep breaths of the dingy shirt and feel my fingers in my mouth. It’s all good.
I'm a 25 professional female. This is a great website! I read about it in the Washington Post and was very eager to explore since I too have been known to suck my thumb on occasion. It is such a relaxing habit & I wouldn't give it up for the world.
I was at the doctor this morning, flipping thru a magazine (Yahoo I think) and saw your article and it made me feel better about that fact that I still suck my thumb, but when I went to the site and saw the pictures of the calluses, I felt an instant kinship!!!!! I too have the callus and have always thought I was the only one!!! I would like to try and make the chat on the 26th and talk to other people who find it a very good way to de-stress... thank you!
Off to explore the site more!
This is phenomenal. I didn't think I would live long enough to see the day when this was openly discussed. ( I am 50.) Twenty years ago I decided for myself all the things I just read in your FAQ section but that was after about 30 years of fear, guilt, and shame which came as a direct result of my parents' desperate attempts to make me stop when young.
Hello there. I'm a 21 yr old male currently attending a university. I read of your website in the Dallas Morning News and I am very impressed. It's making me feel somewhat better about my habit, which I've tried so hard my entire life to keep a secret. Anyways, when I suck my thumb, for as long as I can remember, I've licked my other four fingers and smelled them while sucking. I'm curious if you've ever heard of this type of behavior from others. Well I'm gonna keep exploring your site. Thanx so much.
From: Jessica
I have sucked my thumb all my life. I am 24, and am very embarrased by this habit, especially when being "busted" by my husband. I was always in trouble for this habbit growing up. My mother wasn't very appreciative of this habit. I wore the retainer, had that nasty tasting stuff rubbed on my thumbs... but I just licked my thumbs and rubbed it off.. was a little spicy hot but, I needed that thumb!
Around 12 my mother used to literally come into the bedroom at night to see if I was sucking during my sleep, and if so... man i heard about it the next day! They even made me make a little sign that said "I suck my thumb" and sewed it to an old jacket and threatened for me to wear it the next time I got caught. I started being a little more discreet!
When I met my husband, I kept it from him for about a year, sucking while his back was turned or anytime I could get away with it. He woke up early one morning, and saw me laying there indulging in my habit, and didn't say anything till that night. All he did was comment about it, and treat me like a child for the day, I was soooo embarrased. I just told him that I sometimes awake to find my thumb mysteriously placed in my mouth, he just said he didn't care, and said it was cute!
Well, after that, I have been caught several times, trying to play it off of course, like I am biting my nails, or rubbing my lip, but I know he knows.. he just doesn't say anything. I suck my thumb while watching tv, going to sleep, computing, or just plain laying around. I have to have my thumb in my mouth as I go to sleep. I was just so comforted to know that there are other adult thumbsuckers here!
It was crazy how I found the sight! Of course with my thumb in my mouth, I was searching on the web, and looked at my thumb... and thought... hmmm.. I wonder... and yep! the first sight I saw! ADULT THUMB SUCKERS!!! Screaming at me to come and visit your sight!
Its not a bad thing! i am 21 and still do it and trust me- i do not se myslef stopping! I see it as my stress buster and i always say- it could be worse. I could be smoking to reduce stress! And i am told i have the best smile and i have never had braces!
From: Heidi
I just saw an article in the Minneapolis Star & Tribune regarding adult thumbsucking and was relieved to see that I am not alone nor am I crazy. The article mentioned a web site so the first thing I did was do a search. I was happy to find you.
I feel as though a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders! I found out (to my surprise) a few years ago that I was sucking my thumb in my sleep. I am 30 years old and was an intense thumbsucker as a child. I don't know how long I have been doing this in my sleep but I was completely horrified when my husband told me. I had been thinking about getting some counseling because I thought that there must be something wrong with me. I have avoided situations where others would possibly see me sleep so that my secret would not be known. Thanks everyone for sharing your thoughts and making me feel more comfortable with my habit.
Dear GOD, I THANK THEE ABOVE FOR UNDERSTANDING this weird habit ! This site PROVES that I AM NOT the last person in the world still sucking my thumb ! I can FINALLY come out of the closet :) I am 23 and my name is LISA and cannot KICK THE HABIT, I fear I may be doing this all my life. But, I accept this more now than I have since I was a kid. And what's worse I have corrupted youth. My 18 year old brother still sucks his thumb too ! ANy people out there who want to talk you can IM or Email me
What a great site!! I am thirty years old and have sucked my thumb all my life. My older brother sent me your web address. He thought it was funny. I am fortunate to have a family that finds my thumb sucking amusing.
One topic I noticed that wasn't mentioned was when people enjoy sucking there thumb the most. I must say that I suck my thumb much more in the winter when my nose is really cold and my hand is warm. Silly huh? But very relaxing. I often get teased by my peers and I can't put into words how much I enjoy it. Keep up the good work. Good to know that I am not the only child that couldn't or wouldn't listen to my parents and quit sucking my thumb. What an interesting lot we are!
From: Ruth
Thumb Sucking Etiquette
I saw this page mentioned in Yahoo magazine and thought I'd check out the site since I am a lifetime thumbsucker, age 24. I was particularly interested in the mention of the woman on Extra who said she sucked her thumb at her desk at her office. I was wondering how many of the others of you out there are bold enough to do it in public?
I can't say I'm a closet thumbsucker. Many people who I am close to know about it. But I always got the idea that it is not something a polite person does in public. Like the way that when you reach a certain age, you are expected to sit like a lady, keep your fingers out of your nose, make sure your language is appropriate for the situation, keep gastrointestinal gasses to yourself, etc. I always thought that sucking my thumb wasn't something to be ashamed of any more than burping or cussing was shameful. It's just something you keep to yourself or to those you are comfortable with.
So I was just wondering, am I wrong? Is it O.K. to suck whenever or wherever the urge strikes? I always thought it might make people uncomfortable to see me do this the way it's a little uncomfortable to be talking to someone whose fly is open or to someone with something stuck in their teeth. What are your thoughts?
My response:
I like your spin on this Ruth. Interesting. Your question leaves me in a difficult place. On the one hand, I'd like it to be socially acceptable but, on the other, it probably does belong into at least one of the categories you've proposed.
Gee, it seems like only overeating is allowed in public anymore. I can just see it, a new Victorian age sweeping over Western Civilization, formal clothes returning, opera once again loved! Heck, gone are the days when a person could smoke, chew, spit and burp and be proud of it! What's happening?
If I'd have my two cents to add then, I'd say that it's proper to suck your thumb while asleep, in the company of loved ones and friends, and, most of all, if you've washed your hands. As for publicly doing it, I'd say that it's ok if it's in your own space, like a car, or a dark movie, but you're asking for trouble if you do it at your job. Even though, there have been many exceptions brought to my attention. Hell, if you feel ok about it and/or can take what comes, do it wherever the hell you feel you'd want to! Anyone else? Frankly I never thought I'd see the day when the problem of tsing etiquette was an issue. Praise the Internet!!
I also grew up with an alcoholic father. He was very sarcastic and sometimes violent. He was verbally abusive a lot of the time. I definitely think this contributed to my thumbsucking. However I am of the opinion that under "normal" circumstances people do not continue to thumbsuck. Of course I can't substantiate this and I know many here do not agree.
I am not saying this makes us "bad" or less desirable merely that something was out of kilter somewhere in our past. Do you think you would be "normal" as you said if you no longer thumbsucked. Wouldn't you still be the same person with the same background and emotional makeup? Perhaps you would lose the physical manifestation you used to help you survive but I hesitate to believe this would somehow remold you into a perky person who grew up with lots of love and nurturance. If you want to see someone about a problem I would suggest you see someone that could help you come to terms with your past, irrespective of whether or not you quit thumbsucking.
I think you will find any health care professional will not see it as a problem. I have talked to several therapists and kept being told it was not a problem. I kept focusing on this as what made me not normal, and spent little time thinking about the issues that really distanced me from others, my distrust, my insecuritiy, my black and white thinking, looking at life through through the eyes of a child vs. looking at life through my present experiences as an adult. I have found indeed I am not "normal" in an emotional sense but merely not thumbsucking would have not contributed one bit to my becoming this "normal" person I wanted to be. Think about it.
Living with this habit for my entire life, I have only recently begun to question why I do this. It is something that I sort of just introduced to the people around me as I developed a trust with them. Once that happens it becomes part of the character they know. They add thumbsucking to the long list quirky qualities (though they usually just call them weird): junk collecting, wild dancing, sloppy eater, and so on. And for the most part I always accepted it as just that- ok i am quirky, a quirkiness that I took great pains to hide from my parents after the age of ten. (I even clicked off the computer screen when my mom walked into the room just now).
I think coming to college made this behavior more obvious. For the first time, living conditions didn't allow much to be hidden. What I had always done out of habit and relaxation could not be hidden till I trusted the people I lived with. Anyway, so they really asked me about this. Many told me that something was downright wrong with me, considering themselves experts after a week of intro to phychology. I brushed it off outwardly, but swished theories on it in my head.
Then, when I started seriously dating my current boyfriend, I suppressed my urge when he was looking. When I started to pretty much live with him, he discovered me sucking my thumb. I decided that if he was going to spend that much time with me I might as well do it openly. He didn't say anything at first. But, one night, I asked him what he thought of me when he first discovered my habit. He said that he thought that I might have emotional problems like his former girlfriends. He accepted the habit, though, and now we now joke about it.
However, he started to notice trends. For instance, he noticed that I wouldn't give him oral sex even though regular sex was a frequent and enjoyable thing for me. When he tried to discuss this with me he noticed that I would turn away and pop the thumb in my mouth. Taking this as a sign of refusal to listen, the issue was never really addressed.
Because I love him I want to do anything for him, but this urge is stronger than love or lust. I was so happy to read about other thumbsuckers who have found ways to incorporate thumbsucking into the act of making love. And we have found a special intimacy in sharing my habit of stroking ear lobes (flappies in my terminology) as we cuddle.
Playing with my ears or peices of material always accompanies thumbsucking, especially when relaxing or excited. I think the flappy thing gradually became my outlet for thumbsucking as I got older and found it a more subtle outlet since public thumbsucking became social scorn. Anyway, I was curious if their were any links between thumbsucking and what feels sexually natural for thumbsuckers. Is thumbsucking a form of regression? At points in the day I hide away to thumbsuck and in the process zone out entirely. Do I have to quit the thumb or the ear to function sexually "normally"? And lastly, is something like this counseling worthy? I don't feel like there is something wrong with me yet I also feel like no one really understands. I don't think I want to quit because it really makes me calm and content but I want to understand it better.
From: Myra
I have a woobie (blankie) since birth. It is in pieces now. I carry them everywhere. So does my husband. He does not suck his thumb, but loves to Woobie, that is, rub the blankie. We make the perfect couple.
Our 1st daughter Maria carries her Doobie, (hence my email address woobiedoob), around with her everywhere. She is 2. Our second daughter Diana is 4 months and sucks her thumb. I do not hide this from the girls. They will have a mother who sucks her thumb.
My husband Dave has a stuffed tiger that he had since birth but it is in BAD shape. Like I said we are 2 of a kind. Bye for now Myra PS. I am 34 years old. I can't suck my thumb without my woobie.